How Social Media is Destroying Your Self Confidence {and Ways to Make It Better}

Before I even begin, can I ask you something? What does your social media newsfeed look like? Let’s choose Instagram, for example.

Every morning when you wake up and you scroll down the posts you missed while in dreamland, what do you see?

If your newfeed is anything like mine, you probably see an ab selfie, someone off in Hawaii or Australia living it up on the beach in their bikini, someone flexing their buldging biceps or lifting 50+lbs, a protein drink in someone else’s hand, or a healthy salad filled with all of the colors beneath the sun. I am sure you will even see me in their time to time flaunting my pregnant bump (hey, that’s me!).

We call these types of images #FITSPO or “Fit Inspiration” because they inspire us to wake up and make strides to be our healthiest, fittest selves-physically speaking. But, how do they impact us mentally?

Do we sit there gazing at the chick with abs and then immediately look down at our own bodies and sigh with disappointment or do we look down at our abs and smile and say “One day?”

The thing with social media is that it can either help or harm your self confidence and acceptance. The amount of time that we choose to stay on social media can easily tell the difference between what’s really going on. It’s been proven that social media hurts your self esteem because it’s a virtual “safe” world where we can all sit behind a keyboard, look & watch, and judge away. Sometimes, we are judging whom we see.. but often times, we are turning the judgement onto ourselves. The longer you spend gazing at your feed proves to have more negative consequences than if you were to casually check or glance through to catch up on what you might have missed throughout the day or night.

When we start getting this idea of the perfect body stuck in our heads, our once motivation or “#FITSPO” starts turning into a demotivation or despair. In turn, we start hating ourselves and our bodies or feeling our imperfections when we compare ourselves to someone else who we see as having that perfect body. We then start feeling as if we are not doing enough and then those feelings turn to actions and sometimes those actions can be a form of punishment onto our own bodies such as lowering our caloric intake drastically, skipping a meal, purchasing a fat burner, throwing up after a meal, or just not eating at all.

I see the comparing happen on a daily basis… even when it comes to my pregnant belly for God’s sake. I will post a bump update or so and get at least 3-5 comments saying “I looked like this at 12 weeks!” or “Your 31 weeks looks like my 10 weeks!” and then “You look better than me at almost full term and I am not even pregnant!” I am going to be 1,0000% honest with you-I cringe everytime I hear these types of comments. Yes, I know most of them are meant in good humor and joking, but it sucks to hear it. It sucks to see so many women out there who literally look down on themselves, but it’s a worldwide epidemic that is happening each and everyday and its not the magazines anymore that are the culprits: it’s your social media feeds.

So… why am I telling you all of this? Because I want you to know that there is NO PERFECT BODY TYPE. There is no ideal body image out there. Just because you have abs does not mean you are healthy and just because you do not have abs does not mean you are unhealthy.

But social media tells us differently each and everyday when these beautiful people only post what THEY want you to see and not the whole picture. Isn’t that what social media is for anyway? Who’s ready going to post their going-on-4-days hairy legs or post-meal bloated belly? Hey guys, I am guilty of this too and often have to remind myself that yup I am a hot mess on most days. It’s real life and something that we do not get enough of via social media. That is why taking a small break from social media to enjoy real life is something that we all need to do more of in order to boost our self confidence. We need to go take a small stroll around the real world to realize that there are other forms of #FITSPO out there and that healthy comes in all shapes and sizes-not just what Facebook or Instagram shows us.

If I have personally made anyone feel bad about their own bodies, I would like to take this time to sincerely apologize. I used to be selfie-obsessed (currently getting better due to lack of energy, time, or desire to selfie-it-up) and would only share the most perfect images of myself. It would sometimes take me 10 CLICKS to get the RIGHT photo to post out to the world. Sad, right? But hey, I am not the only one who has gone/is going through it. The world teaches us to put our best foot forward and social media constantly says the sexy, fit you is the best way to be. But what is not true, ya’ll. Healthy is GOOD. Fit is GREAT. But there’s plenty of different ways to be healthy and fit without judging from looks alone.

When you follow all of these same types of accounts or public figures, you are only going to see one certain body type. I understand that these people are inspirational to you and you are ready to make that lifestyle change so you start following all of these accounts for daily inspiration, but if your newsfeed looks anything like the feed below, it might be time to make some changes:

REPEAT AFTER ME: THIS IS ONLY ONE MODEL OF WHAT HEALTHY LOOKS LIKE. This is NOT the definition of “healthy.” It’s just merely one out of thousands of forms.

Now, DON’T GET ME WRONG. There’s NOTHING wrong with any of the images you see here. However, what IS wrong is if this is ALL you see on a daily basis. If it is, then sure it can get a little discouraging after a while when the theif of joy (aka comparison) starts seeping its way on into your brain.

Let’s do something about it-right here, right now.

I encourage you all to take a glance at your newsfeeds and tell yourself honestly what you see. Need a change? Make a change! Maybe it’s time to throw some other forms of “healthy” and inspiration into the mix. Renovate and remodel your social media newsfeed in order to best help YOU. Believe it or not, you CAN control what you see popping up in your newsfeeds. Remind yourself that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and that you do not have to be a fitness model or follow a fitness model to be healthy or inspired. Follow people who are more like YOU, those who you can relate to.

To me, the newsfeed example below speaks a lot more positive volumes because it celebrates all shapes, sizes, builds, lifestyles, and backgrounds. What do you think?

For those of you who follow and look up to me-thank you so much. I am NOT perfect! However, I would like for you to look around your world and see the many other forms of motivation and inspiration out there while keeping in mind that social media is what it is-just a small glimpse inside the big story.

Focus on YOUR story. 

Your trainer and friend,