WHEN INSTAGRAM COMMENTS BECOME A “STICKY” SITUATION…

I seem to be the person a lot of people are seeing in the comments section of popular IG posts lately. A lot of people are wondering why. Even VOGUE noticed and did a really smart story on Instagram’s latest algorithm which randomly highlights comments from high traffic/verified accounts and “sticks” them so they are the first comments you see under posts regardless of chronology or whether you even know the person. Check out “Here’s Why You Keep Seeing Certain Instagram Commenters Over Others.” I’m not sure why it’s my comments that so many people are seeing. That is a question for Instagram. Other verified users with large followings also interact and comment on their favorite accounts.

Because of Instagram’s new “sticky” algorithm fellow users are seeing me everywhere.

It’s allowed tens of thousands of new people to follow me and join my @diaryofafitmommyofficial community which is meant to foster positive vibes, inspire others — and yes, market my business and allow me to promote products I believe in. But it is causing some people to totally lose it and say some pretty vicious things… which is wild because I don’t spread negativity on social media.

I’ve been criticized before. Heck, I post regularly about cyber bullying, mom-shaming, and the wonderful/strange new world social media creates which has a lot of benefits but sometimes pitfalls when it comes to how we view ourselves and treat one another. The main reason I joined social media was to share my passion for fitness beginning with my journey as someone who struggled with what being healthy really means along with working through insecurities that held me back from embracing my natural shape and strength. I’ve shared a transformative experience. It brings me immense joy that I’ve inspired so many others to do the same through sharing personal details. Social media has been a wonderful platform for exchanging game-changing doses of positivity. It’s also given a lot of us who might not have otherwise had a voice an opportunity to be seen and heard.

Diverse voices of fellow fitness pros I admire from Jessamyn Stanley to Kayla Itsines likely wouldn’t have an audience without social media. A few years ago I moved on from a nursing career where I was underpaid and often overworked. I wanted to pursue something bigger, reach more people and continue to provide for my young family. I’ve mentioned this in social posts: I worked from the bottom to fight my way to the top of my niche. Social media is saturated with Instafit pros and I was in a sea of all of them. I stood out by questioning things, posting on controversial topics — essentially being as real as you can get in a virtual space. Social media has become a critical part of my wellness platform. It’s helped to elevate my voice and what I do as a trainer along with the “Fit Mommy Strong Body” guides I’ve created and other revenue. I’m proud of the fact that I’ve established myself and worked hard to go from making just over $30K/year to $500K a year as a full time fitness professional

I wouldn’t be able to achieve this if people weren’t genuinely finding meaning in my message or experiencing changes for the better in their own lives as a result.

While it’s true I comment on accounts with the most followers with full knowledge that logically those comments are likely to be seen by more users, I didn’t start commenting just because of the new algorithm — though I have noticed it works to my advantage and helps me engage with more social media users. The algorithm helps drive more people to my page and gain followers who otherwise might not have found me. They are clicking the “follow” icon when they find my page because something about my message resonates…and I’m so grateful for that.

I’ve always commented and supported celebrity posts I love! Isn’t that what social media is for?

That’s the whole fun of Instagram! Social media creates a unique space where you can link with people you might not have otherwise ever had the opportunity to interact with. I think because I have a large following people think I’m a bot and not a person. I think people who have also been critical don’t understand that I can get just as excited and fangirl like the next person. But because my comments have become so prevalent and some of the replies in response have been filled with cyber venom I feel like I’m being shamed into not commenting on anything at all — which seems kind of ironic and unfair considering the same people who are targeting me are also commenting! ??‍♀️

I know that in the grand scheme of things the amount of people who’ve criticized me seems small when you think about the billions of people who actually use Instagram. But being attacked simply for taking notice of the fact that my comments show up in your feed feels kind of wild. Aren’t there bigger things in the world to be concerned about? Why not take notice of the comment and move on if you aren’t interested? I’m not doing any harm. All of my comments are positive, yet I’m getting some serious hate. I’m using the platform the way it should be used. Why not call out people who regularly post offensive stuff and make social media an unsafe space rather than those of us who are enthusiastic about spreading positivity?

A lot of people have commented that I just want to be seen by more users. But isn’t that largely the point of social media?

I also get criticized because I’m commenting on pages of celebrities I don’t personally know. This is odd because I’m pretty sure Kim Kardashian’s 100 million+ followers and the millions who follow other popular celebs don’t personally know them either. That’s the case for most users and it is what makes the platform incredibly unique and awesome.

As I said in this  VOGUE excerpt:

“People are getting angry about it, but I’m doing what’s best for my business and page,” she told me. As for the haters, “I honestly have no idea why they get angry,” Cooper said. “Maybe because my comments get noticed because I’m verified? I’ve had both Khloé Kardashian and Nicki Minaj comment back to me.”

If the new algorithm is what led to these interactions, then great! I’m cool with the fact that Khloé likes my posts and comments and she finds them motivational — and if that leads other users to follow my journey and also get inspired I’d say that’s a good thing.

People have also asked how I have time to comment. Well, it’s my job — and if you are seeing my comments then you are likely on social media just as much as I am. Then people will criticize me for “not taking care of my kids” but little do they know or CARE, my kids are  happy and healthy. I am not neglecting anyone in order to comment nor am I am on my phone all day thanks to the wonderful Instagram tool called  “Turn On Post Notifications” for each user. I frequently get hateful comments on my page from users asking me to block them because when they block me, they still see my comments… but little do THEY know that if I block them, they will STILL see my comments but they won’t be able to be so  hateful because that is just how Instagram works right now.

I think the big issue for critics is not really with me… but with the algorithm itself. But this whole thing serves as a reminder that when you enter this world you are going to find people who couldn’t care less, really like you and want to connect, or who will irrationally hate on you and try to tear you down without knowing who you are. I’ve experienced low-key aggression to downright threats on one of my kids (don’t worry we called the police, reported that user and filed a report). This level of hate really sucks and it can be scary. I’m not sure how people let their fury get to that level, let alone experience fury at all.

I know I wouldn’t have the awesome following I’m so grateful for which grows by the day without being useful. Sure some of those followers have also found me thanks to Instagram’s new algorithm — but they wouldn’t stick around if they weren’t connecting with what I share and using serviceable information they find within my posts or what I offer via my website and other outlets. Again, I certainly have felt bullied to the point that I’ve started questioning whether I should stop commenting on posts. But why should I be silenced for saying nice things about posts I love and welcoming people who find me through those points into the positive community Fit Mommy fosters? I think I’ll go with the advice I’ve always shared and not let the haters get me down and be mindful of the fact that “hurt people hurt people” and might have other rough things going on in their life if they are triggered by seeing my handle everywhere.

Your trainer and friend,