Our Engagement Q&A
A few days ago, I asked you guys to submit your questions for our Engagement Q&A! I also asked if you preferred to see a blog post style or a YouTube style Q&A-most of you guys said you would rather see it on the blog so here it is!
I know you all have plenty of questions for us, so let’s get right on into it!
Q: How did he ask?
A: I haven’t shared any photos or video from our proposal because it was super intimate and I wanted at least one thing to be kept private 😊 But I will say that he did get on one knee and we both cried like babies!
Q: Have you set a wedding date?
A: Not a firm one, but we are looking into next fall-one year from now.
Q: Is he out of the military now or will you have to move every few years?
A: He is active duty currently. He may have to move, but if you are married and your spouse cannot come with you, they will send him back after a little while OR he can take a one year tour elsewhere and come back.
Q: Would you make another child?
Q: How do your kiddos feel about him?
A: They love him. It is a great match for them.
Q: Did you know he was the one?
A: I did not know he was the one until I actually saw him in person… three months after we met. Even with that, it took some time, but when I knew, I did know.
Q: How long were you together before he proposed? Did you know he was going to propose?
A: 7 months. I had a feeling only because we discussed the strong possibility marriage.
Q: How does it feel to be engaged to Scotty?
A: Feels great! What’s even better is being with someone who treats me well and puts my family above himself.
Q: What were the kids’ reactions to your engagement?
A: They asked us immediately if we could make babies!
Q: How did you know he was the one?
A: It was probably when he stepped up and stepped into the instant role of possible future stepdad. I woke up one morning and he was making breakfast for the kids and I. He had gotten up early to come do that and he’s been a true help to us ever since. From changing my flat tire to fixing my dishwasher-from carrying the kids to bed when they’re asleep or just going out to jump on the trampoline when he’s exhausted-from making me feel constantly loved to respecting me and my boundaries-I knew he was it.
Q: Did you expect a proposal?
A: I sort of did! Just did not know how, when, what, where. He dropped a thousand hints because he was beyond excited lol.
Q: I am a divorced, single mom. How did you get over the fear of remarrying?
A: Take your time. If you aren’t ready, then don’t rush it. I had been separated from my ex-husband for over two years. I dated around and took some time to truly find out what I wanted so I did not pick the wrong person for me. Any relationship is scary after a “failure”. But you have to realize that not all relationships are doomed to fail. Learn from what broke apart in your last marriage and carry that knowledge with you to be better.
Q: What influenced your decision to move in together after marriage?
A: I am not against moving in together before marriage, but I wanted to set a standard for my kids. I did not want them thinking that a boyfriend living with me was okay or normal, though it is very normal these days. If I had no kids, sure. But my babies are my top priority and I want to enjoy my last year or so before I get married, snuggling them in bed and having alone time with them!
Q: Wedding budget?
A: I don’t really have a budget in mind. We are looking at two different concepts for a venue. But if I had to guess. I would say no more than $25,000 total.
Q: Do you plan on a big wedding or something intimiate? Where’s the wedding??
A: Right now, we are looking at between 20-30 person guest list. I am sure it’ll change as we approach our day. But we would like to keep it smaller. Either a castle or at the beach!
Q: How do your families feel about the engagement?
A: My kids are thrilled! His mom is thrilled! So thrilled 😊
Q: Best date night place in or around Destin?
A: I would have to say Baytowne Wharf, Harborwalk Village, or Mimmos Italian Restaurant.
Q: What kind of dress do you envision?
A: I honestly don’t know! This is something I will have to really figure out. I love bohemian styles and classic dresses. I’ve never worn a dress before so I kind of want to go all out!
Q: Where in Kentucky is Scotty from?
Q: Will he/you be relocating?
A: I wont because I have 50/50 custody of my kids so I must remain here. He might if he gets orders, but he will always come back since he wants to retire here and he owns a home.
Q: Did your status or internet fame affect your dates on dating apps?
A: No, because I told nobody what I did. Sometimes I would even tell them my name was Alexis (my middle name) so they wouldn’t know. Scotty isnt affected by it and I am happy!
Did you guys have the money talk?
A: Yes. We will most likely get a prenup and Scotty is cool with that. He is actually better with his money than I am! Every evening or morning, he sits down with his daily receipts and budgets. I love that he doesn’t spend his money crazily. And for those of you who think he’s just out for my money-he’s not lol. Money means nothing to him, but I am thankful to share what I have with him because he is my fiancé.
Q: Are you older than him?
A: I am 2 years older.
Q: Share the process of the engagement ring.
A: Scotty worked with a jeweler and built it. He first picked an empty setting and then picked the diamond (or vice versa). He knew I liked simple, solitaires-nothing flashy… he on the other hand likes flashy. So it turned out to be a great mix of our likings. It’s a SWANA solitaire in a Dana Augustine band with a wedding band to match. Now… to find his ring!
Q: Are you scared to end up with another narcissist?
A: No. Narcissists typically show their true colors around 3 months and I have yet to see any red flags regarding that. Its nice to have a healthy relationship with a mentally stable person these days.
Q: How do you guys resolve issues?
A: We made a pact to never go to bed angry.Whenever I have an issue, I bring it up to him in a calm way and we talk about it.
Q: How do you guys keep the spark in your relationship?
A: LOL oh my. TMI but have sex often! Go on at least 1-2 nice dates a month. Laugh together, make fun of each other, and just be big kids aka our recent Goodwill date.
Q: What does your fiancé do for a living?
A: He is a staff sergeant in the USAF. His actual job is working in communications.
Q: Are you afraid to begin again after divorce?
A: No. You mustn’t be afraid to start over. I feel in life, there are many times where you will begin again-either by choice or not. The fear of failing is real. But you cannot look at your divorce as failure. You learned and you grew from something that was right at one point in your life. Take what you’ve learned and apply it to something better.
Q: Did he ask your kids before proposing?
A: He did ask them how they would feel if we got married. They instantly lit up and said yes!
Q: Why such a rush?
A: What’s a rush to one person may not be a rush to the next. We got engaged 7 months after meeting and won’t be married for another year or so. It is not a rush to me. Then again, some people may feel that dating for 3 years is a rush. I’m perfectly happy with my timeline 😊
Your trainer and friend,