Becoming the Best Version of Myself

May 11, 2016
This post is sponsored by Vocalpoint and Life Reimagined. All opinions are my own.
Do you ever feel totally lost sometimes? No, I do not mean you took the wrong right turn at the red light! I mean, really lost in who you are and your sense of self?
For most of my life, I felt so lost due to the past events that had affected me during my childhood and teen years that have now carried into my adulthood. I have been physically abused, got divorced, lost a loved one, changed careers, remarried, and had kids all within a short time frame it seems. Sometimes, I feel lost on who I am, what my purpose is, and why the negative things in my life have happened to me the way that they did. Most importantly, I struggle to work through my past issues to find out how they define me today. I have learned that you can either let you past make you or break you and for so long, my past has broken me-until recently.

I had the chance to try Dr Phil’s Become the Best Version of Yourself course by Life Reimagined®. This online course helps you get in touch with your authentic self by working through major moments in your past and understanding how they impact your sense of identity. It wasn’t my first time using Life Reimagined® as I have worked with a life coach before and it was an amazing experience that helped me balance my home and work life. I was sent a journal, lip balm, nail file, and some tea to help unwind for my course which was nice!

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Dr Phil’s Become the Best Version of Yourself is a little different than the life coaching that I received, however. During the video guided course, Dr. Phil really speaks to you on a personal level in which you literally feel as if he were in the room with you, talking directly to YOU. He starts off the course talking about self-concept which is basically how we feel about our ownselves or our own perception. This has everything to do with distinguishing your authentic self from your “fictional self.” The authentic self is the you that can be found at your absolute core. It is the part of you not defined by your job, function or role. It is the composite of all your skills, talents and wisdom. When you live a life that has you ignoring your true gifts and talents while performing assigned or inherited roles instead, you are living as your fictional self.

This part of the course made me really wonder, “Who am I?” I am more than my roles or the opinions of others that have been given to me throughout my life. It was very unique to think of it this way and to really get to the core of me.

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Moving on, Dr. Phil discusses our external and internal factors that can affect our own self concept. He had me list my ten most defining moments that I could remember. These things could either be positive or negative, but still had an impact on my life and were affecting me today. Some of the things that I listed were my divorce, my grandmother’s passing, the abuse I suffered as a child, remarrying, switching careers, and the birth of my son and I had to break down each defining moment and the way it impacted my life.

Next, he had me list my 7 most critical choices in my life that have impacted who I am. Some of the answers that I gave were the decision to quit my nursing career to start a new business, choosing to end a marriage, and choosing to start a family as they all impacted and changed the outcome of my life forever.

Following, I had to list the 5 most pivotal people I have encountered in my life who had the most affect on who I am today. Some of the people that I listed were my grandmother, my parents, my ex-husband, my husband, and my son.

All of these factors that he had me list in this particular section of the course were considered to be external because they were people, places, choices, and situations that affected me and how my life developed over the last several years.

At this point, my eyes were truly opened at the fact that people’s influences and the choices I had made over time really affected and either torn down or built up my authentic self. I never knew how much control I still gave those nasty or negative cicumstances or people in my life until finishing this section of the course. It was a little sickening because I felt I had wasted so much time being controlled by my past, but I was now completely ready to move on from allowing my external factors to control me and to start building up my inner self.

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On the next section, Dr. Phil focused on the interal factors that had the most impact on my life and self concept. These factors were internal because they were my own self dialogue and labels that I had given myself or things that I have rehearsed inside of my head. One situation that came to my mind was the inner guilt that I felt after my grandmother passed away. I remember she would always invite me to come see her, but I was always so busy with school or hanging out with friends that I would casually pass up the opportunity or say “maybe another day.” Well, eventually, I ran out of “other days” when she died from cancer 6 years ago. To this day, I still struggle with the guilt that I felt from not taking advantage of those times to spend with her. However, this section truly helped me to overcome and to move past that in realizing that she wasn’t the one who was making me feel guilty-I was. Better yet, I had control over that feeling. She wouldn’t want me to spend another day feeling that way, so why should I?

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What I learned from the past two sections is that your external factors can greatly influence the internal factors and what you tell your inner self about yourself. People or situatons can really do a number on what you think or feel about yourself so the two types of factors go so hand in hand! However, it is up to you interally on how you choose to use or perceive those actors. For example, growing up, I was told almost daily that I was fat or that I needed to lose weight. Over time, I actually began to believe that. The person or external factor who kept telling me this was greatly impacting my inner self without me even realizing.

After completing the Internal and External Factors, Dr. Phil guided me through a 5 Step Action Plan which was a systematic plan to help me work through and validate each and every one of my life events that had impacted me at some point. This was the last part of the program and possibly the best part because everything came together and just clicked instantly.

Before the course, I was still working on some issues from my past that were still affecting me today. I believe that part of the problem was that I did not identify those issues and why they were affecting me at all. Your past certain molds and shapes you, but you have control over your inner dialogue-your self concept-though you cannot always determine what or how your external factors are going to go.

After completing the course, I have a better sense of self awareness and have worked through a few of the most difficult issues in my past that were unknowingly still harming my wellbeing. Perhaps the most important thing that I carried away with me from this experience was learning to forgive myself and to let go of the guilt I held after my grandmother passed away. I could cry happy tears to tell you how much joy I have now!

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I would recommend this course to anyone because we all have had to face tough times and trials in our lives so everyone can really benefit from bettering themselves.

“Become the Best Version of Yourself” is a monthly subscription service with free activities to help get you started discovering your authentic self. Here is a special promotion just for you! Click here to for a FREE 14 day trial to this course and to get started on becoming the very best version of yourself.

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PLEASE NOTE: Following and/or participating in my blog, daily workouts, meal plans, and any tips or advice is solely your decision. I recommend checking with your physician prior to following any of the workouts or meal plans that I share. I am very open in sharing that I am not a health care professional, personal trainer, nutritionist, or counselor. I provide the workouts, meals, and tips that have worked for me based on my personal experiences.

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